Where are my directions?

Sometimes being a graduate student is hard.
Actually, lots of the time being a graduate student is hard.
There is no instruction manual.
There is no task list.
There is no known protocol, no timesheets.
There are no known answers.
Someone hasn't already solved the problem, you can't check the solution sheet.
Heck, sometimes there aren't even questions.

For probably the first time in your life, you are left nearly completely without direction, with only a vague research question to answer... and most of the time, you also have to develop that on your own.

So what do you do?

It is, unfortunately, a question without a good answer. If I could sit here and tell you how to succeed in grad school, I would. If I could even give you a hint as to how approach one day, I would gladly pass that on. But, my friend, I am as clueless as you.

There are a few things I've learned so far, and I'm sure I'll learn more. But for you, dear friend, who are just starting out... I want to hint at what you will learn, will have to learn on your own. So maybe this isn't going to be helpful at all. But if I can give you fair warning, maybe hearing it here one of the seven times you need to hear it before learning it... will help.

Grad school is hard. Even though from the outside it looks easy, it is hard. We are entering academia. There is a ridiculous amount of work involved in that. Do not disregard the importance and value of your work.

You will run into a lot of dead ends. You will come up with a lot of ideas you aren't proud of. You will look idiotic in front of your adviser at least once a week. You will seriously, seriously doubt if you are qualified to do the work you're doing. You will stand speechless in front of the leader of your field, trying to remember your name for an introduction.

You will spend entire days writing code, testing hypotheses, running experiments and simulations, that will end up being useless. There will be days when you actually just can't do anything.

There will be lots of time you feel like an idiot, or that your project is horrible or useless. But you are not an idiot, and there will be some good that comes out of it.

I know, this sounds really depressing. And sometimes it is! But take heart in the fact that one day, you will make a difference through your work. In the meantime, think about this: what else would you be doing? They say that those in a PhD program not only belong in a PhD program, but that we have no other choice: we learn and continue to learn because we must. As Ranier Maria Rilke describes for writers in his Letters to a Young Poet,

“Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.”

And remember that you are not alone. There are lots of people in your situation, and a lot of Nobel Laureates were just as confused as you feel right now, in the same place as you.

Try not to get frustrated. Keep the big picture in your mind. Wear sunscreen.

The best thing is to know when you've reached a limit. When you're at capacity, and being in the lab will do no more good... don't stare at your computer screen any longer. Go outside, breathe some air. Do something that is fulfilling to you- read a book, play the guitar, call a family member. Learn to recognize when you are not being useful... and use that time to relax a little, and enjoy yourself. You will be far more energized to get back to work and make up that time (no one cares which days of the week you work!).

And remember, the most important scientific discoveries have come about by mistake. And stupidity is important.